Anti-Misogyny Chip Implant Soon to be Available for Delhi Men

A team of medical practitioners and computer scientists have worked together to create a first of its kind subcutaneous chip specially designed for those innocent Indian men who are unable to withstand the wicked allure of those hateful, scheming women out to entrap them into molestations and other sexual crimes. When surgically implanted, this chip will work upon misogynistic men, men who hate or fear women, those impaired by faulty brain wiring or those under the influence of Chowmein (shown by researchers to trigger beastly urges in men).

According to team leader Dr Shakti Kapoor and his aide Dr. Ranjeet this first of a kind chip will work as though by magic (but actually by complex circuitry that took several years to develop) to prevent men from ogling strange women and mentally undressing them, and douse the carnal desires that such shameless women inspire in their harmless minds. A team of computer wizards led by Mr. Prem Chopra has developed the chip that hopefully will make Indian men feel safer from such predatory and uncultured women who may be under the calamitous influence of the Immoral West.

The test phase of the chip will be available for Delhi men, currently thought to be most susceptible to the lure of evil women in skirts and other revealing outfits out to trap these unsuspecting and innocent men. The chip will work even when women in saris and burqas try to work their wiles to entrap men into unwitting and uncontrollable wrongdoing.

Speaking exclusively to The StoryPedia, Dr Prem Chopra had exciting news to share – “Now, finally, Delhi men will be able to drive taxis safely in this city, without being worried that their taxi may receive a call from some of those fast and loose women who dress provocatively and even commit the unpardonable sin of having a drink late at night! Men will not be forced to rape or molest women in lonely or deserted areas to teach them the much-needed lesson that Indian women have no business being out of doors after dark.”

Dr. Shakti Kapoor made this announcement at a recently held press conference “Men can venture out fearlessly after dark now! They don’t have to hesitate about using public transport for the fear that they may be led astray by those “ashleel and nirlaj” (Dr Kapoor used these often used terms to explain himself clearly to his audience) women who lure them into making indecent comments, grabbing and pinching bottoms and so on.”

Former UP Chief Minister Mulayam Singh Yadav welcomed this invention, saying that the chip will prevent the playful mistakes that young men often make; so that these youthful misdemeanors don’t land so many of our blameless laadlas in jail.

Delhi men who are constantly plagued by these unscrupulous, rapacious women may soon have access to convenient and private online shopping of this chip.

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